'tis the season

holy crap i havent blogged in a while!

i always think about the friends ive lost this time of year.
i wonder what their loved ones are going thru
if they still are thought about when people buy presents
like "oh, i bet joe would really like this"
and then remember that they are gone.

well, i just found this pic of my friends joe and shannon
he commited suicide 5 years ago
while i was in florida on vacation

i came home to a gloomy roomate
i knew he had something to tell me
when the phone rang he answered it
sat me down and told me i needed to take this call

it was shannon
she told me that joe was having problems with the mother of his child
she wouldnt let him see the baby
threatening to make him pay all this money
(he didnt care about the money, he just wanted to see zoey)

he called shannon and tried to break up with her
but she knew something was wrong
so she kept him on the phone
trying to talk to him
then she heard a loud screeching sound
dropped the phone and drove over to his house
his roomates were sitting in the livingroom
oblivious to what she had heard

she ran to his bedroom
broke down the door
and found that joe had blown his head off with a shotgun
phone still in hand

she told me all of this
calmly
without tears

sweet shannon
she was more worried about how i would react
than to losing her soulmate

we lost touch after the funeral
things were hard
i think we reminded her of him
as she did for us.

why joe?

i thought of you this year
when shopping for gifts
remembering you and shannon
so happy together
running out to the truck
for a quickie
in the middle of a poker game