MMPI
the test on thursday
MMPI
absolute fear
will they find out
will they want to keep me away from other people
for fear that i will take their breathe
and not remember
sometimes it tells me to pick up a knife
and carve it into that one
that one that hurt me
not only one
but one at a time
the uncle
the priest
my father
the friends
the betrayers
i take back
tell him to stop talking to me
yell sometimes
i cant take a life
the depths of hell are not my playground
i scream WHY
why am i not allowed to enjoy
not even ice cream
guilt
i should be cleaning or helping someone
last night i screamed
why am i not allowed
have i offended the gods
by not believeing what i was told to
he walks in an says to me
"its not easy being you is it?"
hold me
make me stop trembling
let my breathe release
do i tell her i want to hurt people
i am supposed to
in therapy
shed all
i dont want her to judge me
so i hold it in
i miss my little princess
im holding back my love
all feelings
only letting out the cold
she can feel it
red flags up
"dont bother mommy"
tonight i will tell her i am sick
i will get better
a future for us is on the way
school starts in october
i wonder if the wonderdrugs will kick in by then
im cold
but the sweat pours out of me
i think i am sick
very sick
i cant shake it
mental and physical
it pours out
and seeps into the souls around me
they know
and their afraid to see it for what it really is
MMPI
absolute fear
will they find out
will they want to keep me away from other people
for fear that i will take their breathe
and not remember
sometimes it tells me to pick up a knife
and carve it into that one
that one that hurt me
not only one
but one at a time
the uncle
the priest
my father
the friends
the betrayers
i take back
tell him to stop talking to me
yell sometimes
i cant take a life
the depths of hell are not my playground
i scream WHY
why am i not allowed to enjoy
not even ice cream
guilt
i should be cleaning or helping someone
last night i screamed
why am i not allowed
have i offended the gods
by not believeing what i was told to
he walks in an says to me
"its not easy being you is it?"
hold me
make me stop trembling
let my breathe release
do i tell her i want to hurt people
i am supposed to
in therapy
shed all
i dont want her to judge me
so i hold it in
i miss my little princess
im holding back my love
all feelings
only letting out the cold
she can feel it
red flags up
"dont bother mommy"
tonight i will tell her i am sick
i will get better
a future for us is on the way
school starts in october
i wonder if the wonderdrugs will kick in by then
im cold
but the sweat pours out of me
i think i am sick
very sick
i cant shake it
mental and physical
it pours out
and seeps into the souls around me
they know
and their afraid to see it for what it really is
posted by GingerSnaps at 11:05 PM
3 Comments:
Wow man, good luck on the test. Be honest, hold nothing back. It is the only way you can heal. Let them have it, all your pain, anger and rage. Give it all man. You can do it. It is for the betterment of your life as well as your childs. Good luck and if you can update me on how it went! I will be praying for you tomorrow. Lord, hear my prayer. I pray that you take this young lady into your arms and hold her close. May she be heard and be able to tell her story. I pray that you will help her Lord, help her through this difficult time. We pray these things in Jesus name, Amen.
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