friend?

i am the ultimate faghag
but you bring shame
to gay culture

i was the only one
there for him when his mom died
when he moved to florida
i called every night
i was ready to fly down and help him move home
when he got homesick
i listened to his lies
about conquests
i know he made up

went to family functions
not really wanting to
thinking his family would judge me
wonder why i befriended him
with his crude and rude behavior
he thought i went
because i was alone here
but i went for him
so he would have someone like him
to talk to

he tries to pick up guys
straight guys
friends of mine
all the time

gets them drunk
and tells them ill do stuff with them
behind my back
so they will come over after bar
and he can pounce on them
unbenounced to me
of course
until they freak out
and run

ill have someone over
and he will walk into my room
right in the middle
to try to get a peak
telling me they agreed he could watch

um, nope. they didnt

i dealt with it
for 8 years
until my daughter was brought into it
telling her he'd come over
getting her all excited
then not showing up
with excuses so lame
everyone else is more important
and actually telling me that

missing her bday
not getting a present
then getting all excited about another friends childs bday
and asking me what im getting him
not even a thought
about the fact that he has missed every bday my baby has ever had

staying here when its conveinet for him
but when someone better to hang out with comes along
dropping me like a bat
then calling me and telling me what a wonderful time he had with them
forgetting that he slept on my couch
every saturday and sunday
for as long as i can remember

i cant do it anymore
i cant pretend that im not mad

i dont see how he doesnt get it
does he not know he is hurting me?
and when he tells private stories about me
to other people
i dont like it
thats why they are private
between me and you

i dont tell everyone about how you almost got beat up
in florida
for trying to do shit
with a friend of your family

and how you lure people to my house
to try to get them to do something with you

but i know you talk shit about me
"dramaqueen toni"
well honey
i hope someday
they see thru the bullshit
and realize that my dramatics
are trying to cover up
your fucked up antics


no more babe
i cant take it anymore
you hurt me
and you hurt maddie

and you dont even know why
i told you once
when you were making me,
a single mom not making shit,
pay for your drinks and your lunch
knowing i couldnt afford it
but assuming id do it
because at 33
you were too lazy
to get a job
and was still living off your daddy

and you didnt understand
why i was mad

i dont get you anymore
i dont think your funny
not like i used to
now i just get annoyed when you get wasted
because i know
that im going to have to pick up the peices
when you fuck up again

i hope you learn someday
to treasure the people that stood up for you
when noone else would