st james hotel redwing minnesota
st. james hotel
redwing minnesota
owned by the redwing shoe company
my former employer
*********************************************************************
im thinking about checking myself into an inpatient treatment program
for depression
i am at rock bottom
i just want to be understood
standing up for yourself is supposed to be a good thing right?
why is it everytime i do
i get shit on
every job ive ever had
if i think i or anyone else
is being treated poorly
ill speak up
bosses dont like that i guess
they dont like when you take them to HR
and report them for misconduct
isnt there some sort of law
forbidding them (the people you report)
from finding little things
to fire you for?
my boss belittled me
in front of four co-workers
i asked her to come into another room
so we could talk privately
about what happened
to confront her
on her rudeness
she freaked out on me
she got right in my face (literally)
and screamed at me
telling me that
"she was my supervisor and i needed to do what she said"
even though it was morally wrong
i told her she was getting too close
and i was uncomfortable
i was going to walk away now
and we could talk when she calmed down
in the office
with someone else there
i started to walk away
she followed me
got in my face again
so close i could smell her lunch
i took two steps back
she came forward
step back
forward again
i turned and walked fast into the kitchen
she followed
yelling that she was my boss and i needed to listen
i sped up
going to the stairs to get away
she ran after me yelling
"go, go tell jody, run"
and thats what i did
but she went to the general manager
and told him i was uncontrolable
i never got to give him my input
i thought he liked me
i was a good worker
i had good ideas
for improving service
(not that anyone listened)
the only thing i had done wrong
was miss some work
due to the hives i have had since january
the doctor thinks they are caused from stress
but they cant do the testing until they are gone
and now i dont have insurance
becasue i got fired
so ill never know
i just have to deal with it
was i wrong to always stand up for myself
and suggest some things be done differently
more efficiently
and report someone i thought was abusing me
its funny how an employee can sexually harrass me physically
and still work there
after i reported him
but i can be harrassed on a daily basis
by someone who thought they were better than me
from day one
i report it
noone listens
i report it again
noone listens
i let out my frustrations to another coworker
becasue noone else will listen to me
and i get fired
for saying that i thought she was a cunt
ive never been written up for swearing before
but apparently this was so evil
they couldnt even listen to me
when i explained i needed to just vent
so now im at rock bottom
i cant support my daughter
becasue im so severely depressed to even look for a job
i cant play with her
becasue im so stressed out
i have new hives poppping out
every five minutes
no money to buy medication for them
no money to buy food
no money to pay rent
unemployment was denied
becasue they dont understand
i couldnt quit becasue i needed the insurance
to take care of the hives
caused by stress on the job
a triangle of sorts
that im stuck in the middle of
he is going to fight for custody
and he'll probably win
because i cant even play barbies
and i forget to make dinner
and i sleep all day
and cry all night
i love my baby girl
so ill check myself into treatment
and hope to get better
i hope theyll listen
thats the only way its gonna help
only god knows
if they would have listened to me at work
i would still have my job
and i wouldnt be thinking about
putting a gun to my head right now.
its fun to wait tables
on your feet all day
stressed out
people yelling at you
cooks screwing up orders
hostesses seating you when you try to take a break
then your boss running after you
treating you like your less than human
when your body is burning up
and all you wanna do is itch
and lay in a tub of ice
becasue you feel like youve been attacked by killer bees
i worked like this
the only time i didnt go to work
is when they were on my face
they were so bad then
that i couldnt even take a picture
becasue my eyes were too swelled up
to see what i was doing.
now tell me i deserved to get fired
for trying to let out some stress
please explain to me
why i should lose my daughter
redwing minnesota
owned by the redwing shoe company
my former employer
*********************************************************************
im thinking about checking myself into an inpatient treatment program
for depression
i am at rock bottom
i just want to be understood
standing up for yourself is supposed to be a good thing right?
why is it everytime i do
i get shit on
every job ive ever had
if i think i or anyone else
is being treated poorly
ill speak up
bosses dont like that i guess
they dont like when you take them to HR
and report them for misconduct
isnt there some sort of law
forbidding them (the people you report)
from finding little things
to fire you for?
my boss belittled me
in front of four co-workers
i asked her to come into another room
so we could talk privately
about what happened
to confront her
on her rudeness
she freaked out on me
she got right in my face (literally)
and screamed at me
telling me that
"she was my supervisor and i needed to do what she said"
even though it was morally wrong
i told her she was getting too close
and i was uncomfortable
i was going to walk away now
and we could talk when she calmed down
in the office
with someone else there
i started to walk away
she followed me
got in my face again
so close i could smell her lunch
i took two steps back
she came forward
step back
forward again
i turned and walked fast into the kitchen
she followed
yelling that she was my boss and i needed to listen
i sped up
going to the stairs to get away
she ran after me yelling
"go, go tell jody, run"
and thats what i did
but she went to the general manager
and told him i was uncontrolable
i never got to give him my input
i thought he liked me
i was a good worker
i had good ideas
for improving service
(not that anyone listened)
the only thing i had done wrong
was miss some work
due to the hives i have had since january
the doctor thinks they are caused from stress
but they cant do the testing until they are gone
and now i dont have insurance
becasue i got fired
so ill never know
i just have to deal with it
was i wrong to always stand up for myself
and suggest some things be done differently
more efficiently
and report someone i thought was abusing me
its funny how an employee can sexually harrass me physically
and still work there
after i reported him
but i can be harrassed on a daily basis
by someone who thought they were better than me
from day one
i report it
noone listens
i report it again
noone listens
i let out my frustrations to another coworker
becasue noone else will listen to me
and i get fired
for saying that i thought she was a cunt
ive never been written up for swearing before
but apparently this was so evil
they couldnt even listen to me
when i explained i needed to just vent
so now im at rock bottom
i cant support my daughter
becasue im so severely depressed to even look for a job
i cant play with her
becasue im so stressed out
i have new hives poppping out
every five minutes
no money to buy medication for them
no money to buy food
no money to pay rent
unemployment was denied
becasue they dont understand
i couldnt quit becasue i needed the insurance
to take care of the hives
caused by stress on the job
a triangle of sorts
that im stuck in the middle of
he is going to fight for custody
and he'll probably win
because i cant even play barbies
and i forget to make dinner
and i sleep all day
and cry all night
i love my baby girl
so ill check myself into treatment
and hope to get better
i hope theyll listen
thats the only way its gonna help
only god knows
if they would have listened to me at work
i would still have my job
and i wouldnt be thinking about
putting a gun to my head right now.
its fun to wait tables
on your feet all day
stressed out
people yelling at you
cooks screwing up orders
hostesses seating you when you try to take a break
then your boss running after you
treating you like your less than human
when your body is burning up
and all you wanna do is itch
and lay in a tub of ice
becasue you feel like youve been attacked by killer bees
i worked like this
the only time i didnt go to work
is when they were on my face
they were so bad then
that i couldnt even take a picture
becasue my eyes were too swelled up
to see what i was doing.
now tell me i deserved to get fired
for trying to let out some stress
please explain to me
why i should lose my daughter
posted by GingerSnaps at 10:19 PM
5 Comments:
LilRed, you already realize this is more than you can handle on your own.
I don't know what your ex is like, or how eager to hurt you he is. But someone needs to take Maddie for a while until you get better.
If he's going to screw you either way, you might as well go to him, confide in him, and hope he realizes it will hurt Maddie more than you to be separated from her mommy.
You need a professional to help you. Once Maddie is safely at her Dad's or elsewhere, find a social service agency to help you.
As far as work goes, forget about the past. Work on getting yourself well first, and after that's under control, join a job search group or some other support group to get a fresh start. It doesn't matter if you were right or wrong. You can't go back in time. You can only go forward.
I'm rooting for you.
Also, she's rooting for you.
Hey there...
I'm sorry to read about the problems you're having. As someone who also suffers from depression and put up with an asshole supervisor for years (until I finally had a breakdown and had to enter a clinic), I think I can relate to what you're feeling. Unfortunately, knowing more than your boss is seldom much of an asset.
I'm better now, and you will be too. Ubermilf's advice is good ... please find some help. This is too big a burden to deal with by yourself.
Good luck, I hope things get better. I'm rooting for you also; thanks for stopping by my blog the other day.
Ah man, that is tough stuff! You have some heavy things going on. I like what the others have said. I want to drive down there and give you a big ole hug and tell you it will all be ok. You are a hard worker and don't need to be treated that way. Perhaps find an office job where there is less stress. Service jobs are very stressful and usuaully include bad managerial staff. That manager was way out of line and should have been slapped. But the reality is, she is probably a looser and needs to push people around to feel good. Run from that scene dude. You deserve better. With your child, thats a tough one, but it does make sense to make a bold step and seek some help. You can't do it alone and sometimes we are broken and need help. Asking for help is the hardest thing. I couldn't do it so I tried to commit suicide. It was after that that I started to open up while incarcerated on the psych ward at Abbott NW in mpls. There is no easy path, but there is a right one and a wrong one. Trust God to lead you and you will be blessed. Hang in there and don't loose focus on God. Put him in your face and invite him into your soul. Sounds easy huh? Not really, in fact you are probably reading this thinking, what a jerk. I empathize with you though. I mean, you are hurting and that is a universal emotion. The fact that you can write it down is a great step. Don't give up on yourself, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, always.
Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP »
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