st james hotel redwing minnesota

st. james hotel
redwing minnesota
owned by the redwing shoe company
my former employer

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im thinking about checking myself into an inpatient treatment program
for depression

i am at rock bottom

i just want to be understood
standing up for yourself is supposed to be a good thing right?

why is it everytime i do
i get shit on

every job ive ever had
if i think i or anyone else
is being treated poorly
ill speak up

bosses dont like that i guess
they dont like when you take them to HR
and report them for misconduct

isnt there some sort of law
forbidding them (the people you report)
from finding little things
to fire you for?

my boss belittled me
in front of four co-workers
i asked her to come into another room
so we could talk privately
about what happened
to confront her
on her rudeness

she freaked out on me
she got right in my face (literally)
and screamed at me
telling me that
"she was my supervisor and i needed to do what she said"
even though it was morally wrong

i told her she was getting too close
and i was uncomfortable
i was going to walk away now
and we could talk when she calmed down
in the office
with someone else there

i started to walk away
she followed me
got in my face again
so close i could smell her lunch

i took two steps back
she came forward
step back
forward again
i turned and walked fast into the kitchen
she followed
yelling that she was my boss and i needed to listen
i sped up
going to the stairs to get away
she ran after me yelling
"go, go tell jody, run"

and thats what i did
but she went to the general manager
and told him i was uncontrolable
i never got to give him my input
i thought he liked me
i was a good worker
i had good ideas
for improving service
(not that anyone listened)
the only thing i had done wrong
was miss some work
due to the hives i have had since january

the doctor thinks they are caused from stress
but they cant do the testing until they are gone
and now i dont have insurance
becasue i got fired
so ill never know
i just have to deal with it

was i wrong to always stand up for myself
and suggest some things be done differently
more efficiently
and report someone i thought was abusing me

its funny how an employee can sexually harrass me physically
and still work there
after i reported him

but i can be harrassed on a daily basis
by someone who thought they were better than me
from day one
i report it
noone listens
i report it again
noone listens
i let out my frustrations to another coworker
becasue noone else will listen to me
and i get fired
for saying that i thought she was a cunt

ive never been written up for swearing before
but apparently this was so evil
they couldnt even listen to me
when i explained i needed to just vent

so now im at rock bottom
i cant support my daughter
becasue im so severely depressed to even look for a job
i cant play with her
becasue im so stressed out
i have new hives poppping out
every five minutes
no money to buy medication for them
no money to buy food
no money to pay rent
unemployment was denied
becasue they dont understand
i couldnt quit becasue i needed the insurance
to take care of the hives
caused by stress on the job
a triangle of sorts
that im stuck in the middle of


he is going to fight for custody
and he'll probably win
because i cant even play barbies
and i forget to make dinner
and i sleep all day
and cry all night

i love my baby girl
so ill check myself into treatment
and hope to get better

i hope theyll listen
thats the only way its gonna help

only god knows
if they would have listened to me at work
i would still have my job
and i wouldnt be thinking about
putting a gun to my head right now.






its fun to wait tables
on your feet all day
stressed out
people yelling at you
cooks screwing up orders
hostesses seating you when you try to take a break
then your boss running after you
treating you like your less than human

when your body is burning up
and all you wanna do is itch
and lay in a tub of ice
becasue you feel like youve been attacked by killer bees

i worked like this
the only time i didnt go to work
is when they were on my face

they were so bad then
that i couldnt even take a picture
becasue my eyes were too swelled up
to see what i was doing.

now tell me i deserved to get fired
for trying to let out some stress

please explain to me
why i should lose my daughter