no love right now

i mowed the lawn
it sucked real bad
no rider here
lots of hills and bumpy crap

tried to have sex
that didnt work
drinking is bad
so is my work

supposed to work a party
free booze all night
14 showed up
one free ticket each
no tips
no thank yous
just alot of talk about rocks
i wanted to poke my eye out
with my bottle opener
for some excitement

i pay 25 bucks a day for a sitter
last night i made 7
night before, 9
last week i made 100 a day
for every job i did
of course i thought it would keep up
and i spent all the money
now i suck
i had to bounce (or float)
a check today to put gas in my hog
so i could pick my princess up
pay the sitter 25 bucks
and starve myself to death
because i cant feed my self

not that im huingry
i have been for days
i forget to eat
and sleep
and smile

happiness is draining out of me
because i, at this point, am finding nothing to be happy about
in this life
i cried all the way to work yesterday
because i didnt want to be going there
i went to school to be a nurse
why the fuck am i bartending?

im done
i have to clean my exes house now
because he controls my existance
i just wish sometimes id get some sex in return
stingy bastard

not here for a while

I will be scarce
as I cannot keep up with my neverending bills
working doubletime
and overtime
serving drunks

I am exhausted
and sad

I will be back soon
couple weeks I hope

have to mow his lawn
to keep good on my loan

keep yours interesting
i will definately need a blog vacation
when I am done with this job

fuck i hate working