im gonna unplug my phone forever

phone calls everyday
from the same bill collector
trying to get money from an ultra sound
almost 4 years ago

i woke up one morning
almost four months after my daughter was born
to pass something almost as large as a 5 pound baby
rushed to emergency
to be told i had a miscarriage

i knew it wasnt true
you have to have sex to be pregnant
id have none of that

the doctor said my womb was getting ready for a baby
things left inside after cesearean
i passed on my own

i had an ultrasound
never heard another word about it
no apologies
no nothing

why should i pay for the ultrasound
or anything having to do with that visit?

was i the one who fucked up?
not so much

im not paying for it

so why, four years later
am i still getting phone calls at 9 pm
telling me i must pay?

well, i usually hang up
ignore them
but i was feeling feisty tonight
as i have been sick all week
so i told him to fuck off
and get his boss
then told him what happened
and screamed until he agreed to leave me alone

please
harrass the people that deserve to be harrassed
and not the single moms just scraping to get by

and dont fuckin call me
and 9 pm
you asshole
cause everytime you do
you remind me of what i had to go thru
and you raise my bloodpressure
and irritate my mood
until i wanna come to your house
and punch you in the face

smoke

i am about to walk over to my bathroom
and have what i hope will be
my very last cigarette

then im going to go for a walk
clean out my car
take a shower
scrub all traces of smoke out of my apartment
and throw away my lighter

wish me luck

UPDATE
it lasted for 8 hours.
i broke down and bought a new pack.
well, maybe next time.