pretender

im depressed
but
i hide it well

i had all these ideas
for what i would be
on all hallows eve

couldnt figure it out

frustrated all week
ideas blocked by horrible dreams
cant paint
or think

went to walmart
at 3pm on halloween
bought two yards of fabric
red silk
tons of accessories
in 45 minutes
i was a lovefairy
(i had the wig at home from a previous dolly parton costume)

i was bored
depressed
lonely
hungry
(so fuckin hungry i almost ate mixed nuts at a bar and if any of you know me well you know that i am so frickin germ paranoid that i would rather die than eat something someone else has touched)

blah,blah,blah

i dreamt about my soulmate
weird frickin dream
i thought i knew who he was
(dead)
but in my dream
he was someone i didnt know
and he tested me
i woke up balling

energy draining
and rambling about nothings again

heres a humurous pic for you
depressed lilred
pretending to be happy.