Im frusterated
I always tell the truth
to everyone I know
I figure
if they dont like it
they can just converse with someone else
but in the last few years
I have gotton really pushy
with the things I feel passionately about
and it scares most people
especially men
my ex says I need to watch my mouth
so Im not called a "dramaqueen" anymore
but why should I?
if its how I feel
why should I suppress it?
most of the people I have come in contact with
in my lifetime
have loved my zest for life
and have loved my solely for my passion
so why is it that I turn people off now?
If I really like someone
and I really feel that we click
whether it be in friendship, love or family
I will do everything I can to keep in contact with them as much as possible
because I feel that they are adding to my life
not wasting my energy
but sometimes I guess I take it too far
and crowd a little
it has happened to me
I felt crowded
but I realized
that that person probably really needed me in their life at that point
and I did everything I could to help
and be there
and those poeple
that pushed their way into my life
have ended up being my very close friends
and I am grateful
I believe
that all people that click
are meant to
that their auras have pulled them together for a reason
most people are afraid of this
because they dont beleive in anything other than what they can see
so they dont give in to the forces that pull them to someone else
well, I do
and thats is why I am so pushy with people
I know I need to know them
I feel it in my gut
I am drawn to interesting people
and apparently gays(I love you guys)
I lost my train of thought
if I remember, ill finish
bye for now
/
this is my friend eric
as superstar
he filled my aura
with his smile
now drugs have taken over his life
and I am missing him
he is so gone now
it is killing him everyday
meth does not mix with lymes desease
he will die soon
he is 29
