smellybutt
i smell so bad today
i think something died inside of me
it wont go away
ever have one of those days
i cant get away from people
and i hold it in
then my tummy hurts
then i get sick
i work with this 65year old lady
she farts all day at work
she is a frickin hostess at my resterant!
(i cannot beleive i cant spell that word either)
anywhoo..
she will be seating a table next to where im taking an order
and ill hear this low rumble
brrrrrrrt
then another
the crescendo
then a quick
pop
its all i can do to not blow snot out my nose from trying to keep laughter in
last week i was standing on the far side of the resteraunt
watching the sunrise over the river
i hear it
really really loud
i thought it was the frickin train!
i look over at a coworker standing next to me
her face is bright red
she gets so mad when the hostess does this
(it is quite embarassing when the customers hear it)
but i start laughing and so does she
then three more times in 5 minutes
(ok, the hostess stand is 25 feet away from where we are and i swear i felt the floor rumble)
we have to go out for a smoke to stop laughing
yesterday, right at opening
i walk to the bakery to get a blueberry muffin
usually i can smell chocolate, muffins and apple cinnimon
eminating from the bakery
not then
rotten eggs
the whole place
i had to run into the kitchen so i wouldnt throw up
what the hell did she eat
whatever it was i think i ate it today
cause i smell that bad
sorry, just had to share
( i think farts are funny and my daughter has also been doing it all day, she actually just woke herself up from the loudness of her own fart..or from feeling better after releasing all that pressure in her little belly)
k, nite
i think something died inside of me
it wont go away
ever have one of those days
i cant get away from people
and i hold it in
then my tummy hurts
then i get sick
i work with this 65year old lady
she farts all day at work
she is a frickin hostess at my resterant!
(i cannot beleive i cant spell that word either)
anywhoo..
she will be seating a table next to where im taking an order
and ill hear this low rumble
brrrrrrrt
then another
the crescendo
then a quick
pop
its all i can do to not blow snot out my nose from trying to keep laughter in
last week i was standing on the far side of the resteraunt
watching the sunrise over the river
i hear it
really really loud
i thought it was the frickin train!
i look over at a coworker standing next to me
her face is bright red
she gets so mad when the hostess does this
(it is quite embarassing when the customers hear it)
but i start laughing and so does she
then three more times in 5 minutes
(ok, the hostess stand is 25 feet away from where we are and i swear i felt the floor rumble)
we have to go out for a smoke to stop laughing
yesterday, right at opening
i walk to the bakery to get a blueberry muffin
usually i can smell chocolate, muffins and apple cinnimon
eminating from the bakery
not then
rotten eggs
the whole place
i had to run into the kitchen so i wouldnt throw up
what the hell did she eat
whatever it was i think i ate it today
cause i smell that bad
sorry, just had to share
( i think farts are funny and my daughter has also been doing it all day, she actually just woke herself up from the loudness of her own fart..or from feeling better after releasing all that pressure in her little belly)
k, nite
posted by GingerSnaps at 10:14 PM
6 Comments:
my daughter thinks farts are so funny. i swear she does it all the time just to annoy me. i call her Tooty McTooterson when she farts a lot.
oh, and lovie has also farted so loudly in her sleep that it has woken her up. it's so funny and cute when it happens.
Jadette thinks farts are funny too... she just laughs and says "fooof!" Cracks me up.
Wow, and I'm shamed when I wake up talking, full volume... Malcolm's the tooter. He wakes himself up out of a sound sleep, but I'm not sure how cute I think it is... anymore at least.
At least he isn't telling any secrets. God knows what I utter mid-slumber. A few mornings have found him looking sufficiently alarmed.
i love farts! farts! farts! YAY! oh and guess what!? I'M GETTING A BRAZILIAN TODAY!!!! thanks to you and i'm terrified. haha. i'll let you know how it goes.
That's really going to put you off your breakfast if some old lady starts farting at you. Does she know she's doing this? Does she get any tips?
My entire class seems to be full of gas. 24 six year olds letting loose whenever the fartman strikes. It is not cute.
I have a bottle of "Smells Be Gone" sitting on my desk at all times.
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