open mouth..insert foot

right in the pit of my stomach
i feel a knot
do you ever open your mouth
only to put your foot in it?
yup
i did that
fucked up my release
the fun thing in my life
ive done it before
being the manic that i am
as soon as you open your mouth
its too late
you can already feel the panic run thru you
will they hate me
will i know they hate me?
my heart is beating so fast
like an anxiety attack is coming on
thinking that writing it down will make it go away
yup its not
a betrayel of trust
god, im so bad at that
maybe its because i always try to make everything seem like a joke
because if i get too serious
i get scared

i am very red right now
not red with excitement
but red with anger
at myself
for being such a dumbass
if id have just kept my mouth shut
i wouldnt feel like this
oh toni, quit dwelling onit
whats done is done
just face the music
and deal with your shit