i was 13
i am 13, i am raped by an "uncle"
my aunt is pregnant with his child
i have only told my best friend
she makes me take a test
i am pregnant
i am 13
i was a virgin
i had my period
blood all over the car
somehow my aunt doesnt notice
the blood on his shirt
my attitude towards him
noone notices
i am pregnant
i get in a fight
best friend tells girl not to hit me because i am pregnant
she does
then calls my mom
mom freaks, calls me a slut
i tell her it was him
i miscarry
i do not have it taken care of
scar tissue
told i am barren
i am 13
noone knows
six months pass
my mom tells family
she is a bypolar too
they dont believe me
he is in my house
he smirks
i punch him
i have no support
i go to treatment for depression
i am 13
because apparently i have the problem
its not me
seven foster homes in 4 years
three girls shelters
one treatment facility
i have an "rpr"
i think that stands for outburst
i get rolled up in a gym mat, someone sits on top of it
i cant breathe
here starts my anxiety attacks
i am 13
i am 29
i still have anxiety
every single day
afraid to try new things
cant let my food touch each other
i am nuerotic
because when i was 13
i was pretty
my aunt is pregnant with his child
i have only told my best friend
she makes me take a test
i am pregnant
i am 13
i was a virgin
i had my period
blood all over the car
somehow my aunt doesnt notice
the blood on his shirt
my attitude towards him
noone notices
i am pregnant
i get in a fight
best friend tells girl not to hit me because i am pregnant
she does
then calls my mom
mom freaks, calls me a slut
i tell her it was him
i miscarry
i do not have it taken care of
scar tissue
told i am barren
i am 13
noone knows
six months pass
my mom tells family
she is a bypolar too
they dont believe me
he is in my house
he smirks
i punch him
i have no support
i go to treatment for depression
i am 13
because apparently i have the problem
its not me
seven foster homes in 4 years
three girls shelters
one treatment facility
i have an "rpr"
i think that stands for outburst
i get rolled up in a gym mat, someone sits on top of it
i cant breathe
here starts my anxiety attacks
i am 13
i am 29
i still have anxiety
every single day
afraid to try new things
cant let my food touch each other
i am nuerotic
because when i was 13
i was pretty
posted by GingerSnaps at 12:06 AM
5 Comments:
{{{{{{Toni}}}}}} I am sending cyber hugs to you. Your post breaks my heart. Mine was my grandfather. You are NOT alone. I'm sorry for your pain. I am here to listen and read. You will find yellow again. It doesn't feel like it, but you will find your soul again because it wasn't your fault. My husband had me listen to REM's Everybody Hurts when I began having flashbacks. It helped. I have a feeling that you are crying. Get yourself a stuffed animal and honor the little girl who was betrayed. She needs to feel safe. You are safe. You are safe. You are in my prayers. hugs & blessings, Renee
Hi Toni;)
Thank you for visiting my blog. Listen, that person is sending those letters about Rosie to whoever will listen. Rosie has done many good things for people. She uses her money to help children. As far as I'm concerned she deserves the benefit of the doubt.
People like to hurt people. I don't know why that is. I think that you are very brave for writing your poems and acknowleding what happened. You really aren't alone. Just breathe and try to keep talking about it.
There is a wonderful and I mean wonderful therapy called EMDR. If you are having flashbacks, you should find out about EMDR. It worked wonders for me. It releases the pain and disarms the hurt. I swear, it is a God-send therapy.
Take care and don't be alone;) hugs xoxoxo Renee
thank you renee, i do beleive in rosie, everyone has bad days, as for that treatment i will look into it, right now this blogging this sure is helping me release in a really awesome way...see you soon..toni
Toni, what powerful words. Mine was my grandfather and step father and step father and brother and elementary school janitor...I wish you could feel the hug I am sending you tonight. It can get better...keep hanging on and writing...don't let the bastard win. Peace.
Dude, I went back to your first post. Very intense pain. Keep writing!
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