things you ddont put in your profile(and things that have really fucked up my life)
1. I have irritable bowel syndrome
2. I have been in love with the same man for 15 years and he doesnt know it
3.I hate when my food touches. i use seperated plates everywhere
4. i dont let other people eat off my plate, drink from my pop, smoke off my cigerette, or wear my clothes.
5. my mother put me in 7 foster homes and three girls shelters when i was between the ages of 13 till i emancipated myself at 17.
6. i am the oldest of nine kids. the youngest is 2. i am 29
7.i contemplate suicide almost daily
8. i faked a drug problem when i was 13 to get away from my abusive father. it worked, i was sent away for 3 months.
9.i am obsessed with sunflower seeds.
10. halloween is my favorite holiday, because i get to dress up and pretend im someone else.
11. i like to go to strange bars, talk with a fake accent and pretend im from another country
12. i absolutely love my old school nintendo. i play it almost daily.
13. i do not like having one-night stands, but i have had many.
14.when i was about to give birth to my daughter, my birth father, who had been absent for 25 years,(the age i was at the time) showed up in my hospital room (no thanks to my selfish mother) and i threw him out an dtold the hospital staff that he was not allowed back in the hospital.
15. it hurts to have sex, but i keep doing it hoping it will get better.
16. the first boy that i was involved with(i was 13) thought we were having sex, but really we werent. he just rubbed alot on the outside and i never had the heart to tell him he needed to go inside.
17. the above boyfriend was my first love and he broke up with me on valentines day for having a cigerette, then made my seventh grade year a living hell.
18.i dont like men who brag about how good looking they are, or say that they have a large penis when they dont.
19. i have talked behind my friends backs
20. i joke about becoming a lesbian, but in truth i think i might really be one.
21. i dream about drowning almost nightly. i think that will ultimately be the way that i die.
22. i pretend that i am a really outgoing person, but really id rather just sit in my house alone painting.
23.i dont like birds.
24.i had a lesbian moment with my best friend and we have never mentioned it since. it has been 10 years.
25.i hate angelina jolie. i think that she is a bad actress.
26.i do however, love brad pitt
27.i sometimes wish people dead so that i wont have to deal with them anymore.
28. i dream of winning the lottery. if i did, i made a pact with myself to: buy houses for everyone in my family, my good friends, my ex, and myself. i would start a business(an art studio, and a dance studio) and i would donate the rest(except for what i would save for my daughter)) to the susan komen breast cancer center.
29.3 of my best friends are gay
30.i am a bitch
31.i didnt cry when my gramma died.
32.i have seen ghosts, and can feel the presence of them wherever i go.
33. i like to fart when im by myself
34.so does my daughter
35. i am bored with this
36. you probly are too
37. stop reading it then
38. dumbass
39. i want to be a carpenter
40. i dont really want to be skinny, i was once and i didnt like the attention, cause people annoy me.
41. most people bore me
42.i cry all the time when im alone
43. i love bon jovi
44. i wanna be a racecar driver
45. i almost was one, last year i was given a car and a sponsership and i turned it down.
46. i root for dale jr. but i secretly have a crush on jeff gordon
47.i like to bite during sex
48.i like to get hickeys
49. i once was beaten by my father for getting them, i think thats why i like them now
50. i sometimes dream that my mom would die so that she wouldnt have to suffer in her head anymore. she is worse off then i am. she will never get better. i wish her in heaven so she will be free.
2. I have been in love with the same man for 15 years and he doesnt know it
3.I hate when my food touches. i use seperated plates everywhere
4. i dont let other people eat off my plate, drink from my pop, smoke off my cigerette, or wear my clothes.
5. my mother put me in 7 foster homes and three girls shelters when i was between the ages of 13 till i emancipated myself at 17.
6. i am the oldest of nine kids. the youngest is 2. i am 29
7.i contemplate suicide almost daily
8. i faked a drug problem when i was 13 to get away from my abusive father. it worked, i was sent away for 3 months.
9.i am obsessed with sunflower seeds.
10. halloween is my favorite holiday, because i get to dress up and pretend im someone else.
11. i like to go to strange bars, talk with a fake accent and pretend im from another country
12. i absolutely love my old school nintendo. i play it almost daily.
13. i do not like having one-night stands, but i have had many.
14.when i was about to give birth to my daughter, my birth father, who had been absent for 25 years,(the age i was at the time) showed up in my hospital room (no thanks to my selfish mother) and i threw him out an dtold the hospital staff that he was not allowed back in the hospital.
15. it hurts to have sex, but i keep doing it hoping it will get better.
16. the first boy that i was involved with(i was 13) thought we were having sex, but really we werent. he just rubbed alot on the outside and i never had the heart to tell him he needed to go inside.
17. the above boyfriend was my first love and he broke up with me on valentines day for having a cigerette, then made my seventh grade year a living hell.
18.i dont like men who brag about how good looking they are, or say that they have a large penis when they dont.
19. i have talked behind my friends backs
20. i joke about becoming a lesbian, but in truth i think i might really be one.
21. i dream about drowning almost nightly. i think that will ultimately be the way that i die.
22. i pretend that i am a really outgoing person, but really id rather just sit in my house alone painting.
23.i dont like birds.
24.i had a lesbian moment with my best friend and we have never mentioned it since. it has been 10 years.
25.i hate angelina jolie. i think that she is a bad actress.
26.i do however, love brad pitt
27.i sometimes wish people dead so that i wont have to deal with them anymore.
28. i dream of winning the lottery. if i did, i made a pact with myself to: buy houses for everyone in my family, my good friends, my ex, and myself. i would start a business(an art studio, and a dance studio) and i would donate the rest(except for what i would save for my daughter)) to the susan komen breast cancer center.
29.3 of my best friends are gay
30.i am a bitch
31.i didnt cry when my gramma died.
32.i have seen ghosts, and can feel the presence of them wherever i go.
33. i like to fart when im by myself
34.so does my daughter
35. i am bored with this
36. you probly are too
37. stop reading it then
38. dumbass
39. i want to be a carpenter
40. i dont really want to be skinny, i was once and i didnt like the attention, cause people annoy me.
41. most people bore me
42.i cry all the time when im alone
43. i love bon jovi
44. i wanna be a racecar driver
45. i almost was one, last year i was given a car and a sponsership and i turned it down.
46. i root for dale jr. but i secretly have a crush on jeff gordon
47.i like to bite during sex
48.i like to get hickeys
49. i once was beaten by my father for getting them, i think thats why i like them now
50. i sometimes dream that my mom would die so that she wouldnt have to suffer in her head anymore. she is worse off then i am. she will never get better. i wish her in heaven so she will be free.
posted by GingerSnaps at 5:21 PM
16 Comments:
OK, a huge number I can relate to and idenify with. A lot I can't because I'm a man, I have been lucky in love and have wonderful parents who I conside to be amongst my closest friends. I won't be condisending, but it sounds as though you've had your share of tough times. You love your daughter (and I love mine) and ain't that the best thing ever.
sometimes i think my love for her is the only thing that keeps me going.
i feel bad cause you sound like a sad person.
im not always sad. it just always seems to come out when i write. lately the bad days seem to be outnumbering the good. i do actually have good days, they are spent outside of the house so i am not here to comment about them.
3,4,19,32,33,34.....kept reading...must be a dumbass too :-)
Hang in there!
Warm hugs,
Lighty
lol, my favorite is right away in the morning after ive had tacos the night before...
btw i had tacos tonight..
my daughter has been farting all day..ohh she smells really bad and she tells everyone that she does..
as far as 15 goes, GO TO A DOCTOR! I had the same problem for 2 years and they weren't able to figure it out until I started going to a specialist.
Get it checked out!
-LMK
LilRed, you are passionate and honest. You are also suffering. I don't know how to fix the brain chemistry problem.
I wish I did.
Lil Red, your post made me laugh and cry all at the same time.
I wish you happiness and balance. I hope for your sake and for your daughter's that you do not kill yourself. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" Maddie needs you. ALWAYS
Bon Jovi is a god.
I hope you can forgive your mother and your father and yourself. Only when you love yourself will other people truly love you.
YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN A ONE NIGHT STAND. So is your daughter.
My mother-in-law suffers from bipolar disorder. Reading your stuff helps me realize what she is going through a little better. Thanks for sharing!
Your blog pulls at my heart :o) My 23 yr old daughter is BiPolar... I am curious as to why you do not like birds?
i do not like pet birds because i had a bad experience with a cockatoo and a blue front amazon parrot.
I feel you girl, Tamwill is my mom and directed me to your site. I can totally empathize and understand the things you are going through. I hope to hear from you and will check this blog out more often.
That took some confidence. i have a friend that is bipolar. so i know some of what you are going through. its hard at times but dont kill yourself. That will not solve anything. you have your daughter to keep your spirits up and us bloggers to help you through your sadness. so keep writing and get it all out. love your blog. i will link you to mine.
A fantastic blog. Keep it up. If you are looking for feline irritable bowel syndrome related stuff, I'm sure you'd be interested in feline irritable bowel syndrome Come check it out if you have time.
You have a awesome blog! WOW!
I've got on irritable bowel syndrome ovarian cyst related info.
Come see when you can.
I have been blogging around for some time today looking for irritable bowel related sites when I came across your site. I just wanted to let you know that I think it is a great looking site and keep up the good work.
Regards
irritable bowel
Post a Comment
<< Home