my first kiss
i have been wallowing in self pity lately
thinking about what life would have been like if id have taken a different route
i remember this boy
who i thought i would know forever
i felt a connection when we were young
i met him when i was 13
when all the drama started in my life
i was very close to him and his cousin
they were those types of guys that took your breathe away when you spoke to them
unlike anyone i had ever met
both of them so different, yet they touched me so deep i will never forget
they way they made me feel when we would sit and have heart to hearts
most 13 year old boys could not pull of the emotions these boys had
a connection for life and with life
i only knew then for one year
when i moved to my dads
then i was whisked away to treatment and a different life
one of them was my boyfriend for a short time
we talked everyday
about things teenagers dont talk about
we brokeup cause he wanted to see someone else
but one night
on the most beautiful night i will ever remember of may
we played pool at this dumpy poolhall
we went out back for a smoke
we talked very deeply
just as we always had
and he kissed me
for the first time
my whole world stood still
he took my breathe away
weak in the knees
i lose my breathe now
still thinking about it
not everyone gets to experience this feeling
true happiness
i moved away shortly afetr this
but i still felt like i was near him everyday
and the other boy too
they stuck with me
for the last 15 years
8 years ago
i call my cousin
to see how they are
he died the night i called
drug overdose
at 21
i went to the funeral
saw the other boy give the eulogy
he looked at me the whole time
connecting on a level noone else there would ever understand
he came to me after he was done
it had been 7 years since id seen him
we hugged
it was still there
but now
i felt like i was being hugged by both of them at once
he said to me
mike would have been happy to see you
we missed you
i missed them too
last night i looked him up
and wrote him a letter
swallowing my fear
and sent it to him
i have always felt we should be connected in some way for ever
maybe i knew them in a different life
because i dream of them
and i hurt for them
like they were the love of my life
and i missed it
i know this makes no sense
i dont claim to be a writer
i just write what pops into my head
and how i feel
i just ache for them
everyday
and that kiss
was not my first
not my last
but definately the most emotional kiss
i think i will ever experience
rest in peace michael
i will always remember you
"the things that get us in trouble are always the funnest"
thinking about what life would have been like if id have taken a different route
i remember this boy
who i thought i would know forever
i felt a connection when we were young
i met him when i was 13
when all the drama started in my life
i was very close to him and his cousin
they were those types of guys that took your breathe away when you spoke to them
unlike anyone i had ever met
both of them so different, yet they touched me so deep i will never forget
they way they made me feel when we would sit and have heart to hearts
most 13 year old boys could not pull of the emotions these boys had
a connection for life and with life
i only knew then for one year
when i moved to my dads
then i was whisked away to treatment and a different life
one of them was my boyfriend for a short time
we talked everyday
about things teenagers dont talk about
we brokeup cause he wanted to see someone else
but one night
on the most beautiful night i will ever remember of may
we played pool at this dumpy poolhall
we went out back for a smoke
we talked very deeply
just as we always had
and he kissed me
for the first time
my whole world stood still
he took my breathe away
weak in the knees
i lose my breathe now
still thinking about it
not everyone gets to experience this feeling
true happiness
i moved away shortly afetr this
but i still felt like i was near him everyday
and the other boy too
they stuck with me
for the last 15 years
8 years ago
i call my cousin
to see how they are
he died the night i called
drug overdose
at 21
i went to the funeral
saw the other boy give the eulogy
he looked at me the whole time
connecting on a level noone else there would ever understand
he came to me after he was done
it had been 7 years since id seen him
we hugged
it was still there
but now
i felt like i was being hugged by both of them at once
he said to me
mike would have been happy to see you
we missed you
i missed them too
last night i looked him up
and wrote him a letter
swallowing my fear
and sent it to him
i have always felt we should be connected in some way for ever
maybe i knew them in a different life
because i dream of them
and i hurt for them
like they were the love of my life
and i missed it
i know this makes no sense
i dont claim to be a writer
i just write what pops into my head
and how i feel
i just ache for them
everyday
and that kiss
was not my first
not my last
but definately the most emotional kiss
i think i will ever experience
rest in peace michael
i will always remember you
"the things that get us in trouble are always the funnest"
posted by GingerSnaps at 1:01 PM
2 Comments:
This makes perfect sense. You made me cry, remembering a boy I loved when I was 14 and he was 18. We never kissed, I was too young for him. But we would sit together on the jukebox at the local pub and sing songs and hold hands - drinking laws were not so strict back then.
Two months after graduated high school he was hit by a car. He died one month after that. I've never forgotten him. I think of him every year on September 29th, the day he died.
i knew there was a reason i loved you brooke. we are connected thru tragedy...i was just thinkning about him again while i was taking a shower..cant get him out of my mind. maybe hes here wayching over me..
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