pass me the snuggle...
cant stop thinking about how things would have gone differently
if i'd have just said no to the question
"do you just wanna snuggle for old times sake?"
thats how it happened
my impregnation
6 months after we broke up
at the same party
both too drunk to drive
sleeping on the same couch
moved into the laundry room
to have sex on the cold concrete floor
not on the pill
no condom
he pulled out
two weeks later
i cant have a drink
my body feels tired
as does my mind
what is wrong with my boobs
why do i feel like they are going to pop?
test comes out positive
4 times to be sure
i tell him
he asks if its his
(i havent been with anybody else)
still reeling from our break-up
horrified to be near anyone else
we try to make it work
to be a family
buy a house
family vacation
it doesnt work
our relationship was based on sex from the beginning
the best sex either of us has ever had
does not make a relationship
does not make a family
does not make you happy
or me
try to stay together for the baby
never works
ever
sex does not make the world go round
it complicates things
fucks with your head
and your body
why did the bastard have to fit me so perfectly?
why do i think that it'll never be that good with anybody else
will i always compare them?
probably
yup, pretty sure i will
bastard
i got pregnant with my daughter
the love of my life
on a friends laundry room floor
at a party
i was not in love with her dad
not sure i ever was
how am i going to tell her this when she asks about us
"oh baby, your daddy and i just liked to have sex alot"
you were conceived out of lust
out of conveneince for both of us
it kills me that i am such an unloveable bitch
fuck me and get the fuck out
you'll never be enough for this princess
your just here to fill a void
that i will never allow to fully open
because i hate you
you fucking male
i am not trying to male bash. im just really pissed off that i let this happen.....so dont argue about it.
if i'd have just said no to the question
"do you just wanna snuggle for old times sake?"
thats how it happened
my impregnation
6 months after we broke up
at the same party
both too drunk to drive
sleeping on the same couch
moved into the laundry room
to have sex on the cold concrete floor
not on the pill
no condom
he pulled out
two weeks later
i cant have a drink
my body feels tired
as does my mind
what is wrong with my boobs
why do i feel like they are going to pop?
test comes out positive
4 times to be sure
i tell him
he asks if its his
(i havent been with anybody else)
still reeling from our break-up
horrified to be near anyone else
we try to make it work
to be a family
buy a house
family vacation
it doesnt work
our relationship was based on sex from the beginning
the best sex either of us has ever had
does not make a relationship
does not make a family
does not make you happy
or me
try to stay together for the baby
never works
ever
sex does not make the world go round
it complicates things
fucks with your head
and your body
why did the bastard have to fit me so perfectly?
why do i think that it'll never be that good with anybody else
will i always compare them?
probably
yup, pretty sure i will
bastard
i got pregnant with my daughter
the love of my life
on a friends laundry room floor
at a party
i was not in love with her dad
not sure i ever was
how am i going to tell her this when she asks about us
"oh baby, your daddy and i just liked to have sex alot"
you were conceived out of lust
out of conveneince for both of us
it kills me that i am such an unloveable bitch
fuck me and get the fuck out
you'll never be enough for this princess
your just here to fill a void
that i will never allow to fully open
because i hate you
you fucking male
i am not trying to male bash. im just really pissed off that i let this happen.....so dont argue about it.
posted by GingerSnaps at 1:24 PM
15 Comments:
I cant really say much except that I understand the whole idea that a relationship cannot work if its based on sex. Thats what I came to find out at the tail end of a 4 year relationship. I really love your honesty in the blogs you post so please dont worry about what nerds like me say in this comment section ;) Keep it up and Im a fan forever!
Firth!!!
Look, some kids don't even get one person to love them. Yours has two. If the two of you don't love EACH OTHER, well, that happens. She'll get over it. Just say "it didn't work out between us."
Remember the Italians with their jordan almonds -- life is a mix of bitter and sweet.
cheyeenne. its not the nerds saim woorried anbout so much as the creeps, and aoyur rihgt. we cant reall ywork with the sex thing .
ubie, that swhat my mothe rin law alwways says. (very wise woman) shew does have tow o won derfuks lp areents and we lov eher muches. shse doe saska me daidaly thought wyhhy we arent maiirrreid.
mnicknamew. i realal tydont hate him. im jjust not sur ei ever loved him.
bry ce underhill. i dsont feel the needw to start a fight with you on my bklog so fu ck off and go somse where else to get attantion.
bt ew, i just turned downd sex with a stranager at the bar..area you proui d?? i think imY HAVE A HICKCY THOUGH..
she'll understand it when she's older, i'm sure. and if she isn't old enough to understand it then you shouldn't have to explain it to her yet.
honesty is the best policy, and you've got nothing to feel bad about
Cheyenne said "tail end" *snicker*
nick, i think chetenne might think about "tail ends" alot these days...since he's not getting any. is that why you noticed it right away too?
I wouldn't worry too much about what to tell her, in all honesty. I'm sure most of us were conceived in ways other than missionary position (although I prefer to think of my birth as resulting from immaculate conception, it's much better than realizing I was probably conceived during some raunchy sex.)
You may not have loved each other, but it's your love of her that matters. My parents loved each other at the time, but they're divorced now, how is that any better? I'm guessing very few babies are born out of "ideal" situations. The important thing is that you have a daughter to love.
I'm with Ubie on this one.
Don't tell her about the lust. Don't you know how gross it is hear about your parents having sex? Ewwwww!
Tell her you were brought together to bring her into the world. When you had done that, your job together was complete.
Amen Brooke, very sensitively put.
Thanks Bob! Now get your finger out of your nose and start blogging again dammit!
Brooke took the words right off of my fingers...
When the time comes, yiou will find the right words.
You have a way with them.
Red, I'm proud of you for turning it down.
And Ubi & Brooke are right about your daughter. Just because you don't love each other anymore, it doesn't mean you will ever stop loving her!
No arguement here. I understand fully. Had a few relationships that came down to just lust and no love. Wondering if love is ever in my future. At least feeling the love from the other person that I feel for them. That is a tough one to get. I am rambling, better go now.
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